Adoption Parenting....

We finished our last module for the adoption parenting DVD series that is part of our required study. We have to take our final test and submit it online and then our completion results will be forwarded along to our adoption agency. We have a required 10 hours of parenting education to take. This DVD series completes that, but to me it has just provided a starting point for both Chris and I to come together on a plan of parenting that works for our family.

This has been a very informative, and thought provoking series. Let me explain why.... Informative because I tend to be the type of person who is easily intimidated by the big words, like "sensory integration" and "bonding and attachment". And I can let these words paralyze me with worry... "what if we have to deal with these issues in our adopted child?" "Can I handle that?" "What exactly does that look like?" So when I say that this DVD series has been informative, I mean just that. Both Chris and I have been given a lot of scientific and practical information and examples of issues that pertain to developing and nurturing the emotional well-being of an adopted child. Lots of information over the course of our study, broken down into manageable pieces, so that it does not become overwhelming. I love that each of the presenters of the seminar, are not into the "Scare your pants off type of teaching". (Lord knows I don't need that!) They state that while there is a small percentage of people who will have to deal with severe issues regarding their adopted children.... the majority will be dealing with mild to moderate issues. (Of course one persons mild is another person's moderate..lol! But I still took great heart and encouragement from their statement). Just having been given the information, to understand the process of attachment and bonding, what it means to be a primary caregiver for the child and how to make sure the cycle of needs for the child are being met.... to understand how to parent for their real age opposed to their chronological age..... All of these things and so much more have helped me to fear less, and develop a plan more. So, that is why the informative aspect has been so good. Plus it gets both Chris and I thinking and reflecting and engaging in conversation ahead of time, in how we might choose to parent an adoptive child.

Which leads me to the second aspect.... this seminar has been so thought provoking. What has been interesting to me is that I didn't necessarily agree with everything that was said. Which is a good thing. It means that I can think about what was presented and further research and even ponder and discuss with Chris what we think would work best for our family. It means some more time spent talking and writing down and coming up with a plan of action. Not to say that we follow that plan ad nauseum, and never deviate, no matter what the circumstance. Certainly not! We are flexible if nothing else....But, having it written down, gives us a concrete plan, helps us to remember the information we were taught, and hopefully helps us to help our child to gain life skills that they will need as they grow. So, that has been what has been thought provoking, just processing all of the information and then marrying it with what will work within our family.

Even with all the educational information we received and the plan of action we will work on creating.... while all of that is very good, I take even greater heart in knowing that our Father in heaven is in control of these issues. He knows the child or children we will adopt... he knows our hearts and what we are able to handle. I have to rest in Him, that His plan is the best one of all.