Four Months Home

I am finally getting around to posting an update on our little man. We've been home four months on May 1st. It's hard to believe that it's been four months. Sometimes it feels so short and sometimes it feels like he's been with us for a long time. I guess I'll update in sections since I'm not sure where to actually begin. I'll start with a brief comment about our post placement visit. Our social worker is so pleased with how well ds3 is adapting. She has seen him come a long way in the 4 months he has been home! (Naturally he was quite charming the day she was here).

Motor Skills both Gross and Fine
Ds3 is now 2 and 1/2 and his gross motor skills are great. He runs fast, can stand on one foot for a quick second or two, rides a little car fast, jumps, climbs etc. His fine motor skills seem to be on track as well. He can color (scribble) holding a crayon and he eats with a fork or a spoon just fine. Though he did this in Russia too... probably because he had to. He is letting me brush his teeth and I think finally after 4 months has gotten the spitting down. Yay! (That took lots of showing by example).

Speech and Comprehension
Ds3's speech is still coming. It's an area of concern for me.... but not so much for Chris. (Can you tell who is the worrier in our family?) He has just over 80 words and is just now starting to say word phrases like Mama's car, or More please, or Mama's eyes. I'm more concerned about his sounding of words. I'll say a word and ask him... "Can you say _____?" He says it but it is usually just the first beginning consonant sound. Sometimes he'll surprise me and actually say a word and it comes out fine.... like "Grandma" and other words that seem simple he just can't say. We did go to our pediatrician who adopted 4 children from Russia himself. He is not concerned and is actually pleased with how far his speech has come in 4 months. He wants to wait until his 3rd birthday to see how he is doing... and evaluate whether we need additional services. So, I guess we'll wait and see. The good thing is his comprehension is really good. He understands most everything we say, however whether he listens is another matter entirely.... but that is for another section. :-)

Learning Development
Ds3 knows all his animal sounds, parts of the body, and can sing part of his ABC's. He also can count to about 8 or so. He loves Elmo and has learned a lot of his children's songs from our videos. We've also started attending a lapsit at the library. He loves that because they read a story and sing songs and hop around the room! Plus we always have a craft to take home with us to do. Two weeks ago it was an apple to color and bring back and this past week it was a little duck puppet. :-) He is still learning his colors... Chris has been working with him during bathtime using his cups. He hides a little octopus under one cup and tells ds3 it's under a color cup like red or something. Ds3 has to choose the correct color cup to find the octopus. He uses cars too and ds3 likes that even better....since this is his new favorite thing. He loves his cars... he used to play with the big cars, but his brother's Nascars and Hot Wheels are the latest and greatest. We always have a car or two when we go to the grocery store, so he can be entertained while sitting in a shopping cart. Publix has the carts with steering wheels and he just LOVES that.... :-)

Growth and Food Issues
Oh boy, here is my biggest concern. Our little guy is still at the 3 percentile for height. He has climbed to the 15th percentile in weight. He has grown about an inch and 1/2 since we returned from Russia. He's gained about 3.5lbs since he has been home. His weight is okay, but his height concerns me. So many have brought home children who have caught up dramatically in the first 6 months and over a year they have grown 7-10 inches. I so wish that for our little guy. I have had many well meaning people say to me that perhaps his birth parents are small.... and that could be. But, when you just don't know.... there are so many other thoughts to consider. We met with our pediatrician about this and his speech, and we will wait until his 3 year birthday to determine if we need to do some more tests to check growth hormones, and nutrient uptake etc.
I have been encouraged by two mom's in our church who have adopted boys from other countries. Both the boys were so small for years and then they just spurted much later than the first year home. They are seasoned adoptive moms and I wish I could spend a day or two soaking up the insight they have to offer. It would help me sooo much.

Attachment
We are noticing some attachment issues with our little guy. It is SO hard to tell between the toddler behavior and orphanage behavior. I can't even begin to tell you.... I guess some things I am noticing is that our little man still will not do eye contact when he is rocked. He will let you rock him in the cradle position, but he will not look in your eyes. For those that are not in the midst of attachment of adopted kids, this is something that he has never experienced. To look into a parent's eyes is a very normal thing that develops at infancy. An infant looks up into his parent's eyes in wonder from the time he can focus. That is reinforced day in and day out as he is held an marveled at in that first year. It's also how trust develops between the child and the adult. But living in an orphanage from the time he was born, our little one missed that developmental stage. He most likely was left to lay in his crib for hours and had very little adult touch or eye contact. It breaks my heart and Chris's too and we continue to work with him in so many areas of attachment. And yet he has come so far in so many other areas. Just the fact that he will let you rock him is amazing. He also will come and give me or Chris a hug spontaneously. One day he even came up to me while I was sitting on the floor and cupped my cheeks and planted a kiss right on my lips. Looked in my eyes too. That was surprising! lol! He has adjusted well in the church nursery in the evenings... and loves it there.

One thing that God has been impressing on my heart is to model with love. Ds3 really picks up on everything around him.... every little thing. If I am frustrated with things, he will model that same frustration when he is frustrated. I am reminded to model love and patience to this little guy. He will pick up on that and hopefully mimic it. I'm also being reminded of toddler days. It has been so long since I've been there, but also my older two boys were 16 months apart. When I try to look back at those toddler/baby years with the two of them.... it's quite frankly a big blur. I have many memories, but the day to day stuff is tough to remember. I must have been living on lack of sleep! lol! So, to remember normal toddler behavior and re-direct and re-focus and firmly but tenderly love our little guy is what I am trying to do. :-)

Things He Loves
Ds3 loves to go outside.... all the time! He loves to play on the swingset and slide down the slide. He loves to walk around the yard or down the street. He also loves to go for a ride. Goodness just the mention of shoes brings such a degree of glee and anticipation to his little face, that if you don't move fast enough to get everything together for that ride (in the car), he will have a mini-meltdown. The poor guy! Such a change from when the car scared him when we first came home! I try to calmly explain that we are going soon.... but he won't hear it. Almost every evening Chris comes home and scoops him up for a ride to the local grocery store. lol! His favorite words right now are "What's that?" and "Ohhh Man!" If I say, "No you may not", he'll say... "Ohh man." Oh and "Car" that word we hear all day everyday. :-)

I guess that's it for now... I wrote most of this post over the weekend. I'm just finishing it up now. Yes, my time has gone out the window! :-)